The background:

 

My friend’s dog, Rudy, has been diagnosed with an untreatable cancer. The Vets want her to use chemotherapy to prolong his life. At the moment he is on Prednisone to combat the symptoms. Naturally there is that guilt trip going on…my friend’s partner also has cancer and is having to make decisions about chemo. My friend is taken aback by the fact that she is openly grieving her dog’s illness. She weeps.  She cannot weep about her partner although she is obviously dismayed…

 

I have realized that I too weep over the loss of a pet but I remain stoical over the loss of a parent or friend. I know I am sad…but there seems to be some sort of control.

 

My friend asked me for my input. I in turn asked Joan who has a profound understanding of animals for her input.

 

Her response was so profound that I wanted to post it.

 

“To gain so little time and at such cost, not just financial, seems wrong to me. The important thing is to remember that she can never explain to Rudy what is happening, and if the treatments are unpleasant or stressful he can't console himself that it's 'worth it'. I would definitely try the Prednisone, as I think its benefits outweigh its side effects (or put another way, he may not live long enough for the side effects to occur). Prednisone bought me seven happy months of quality life for my cat Pimlico, whom I would otherwise have euthanized right away.
 
My hope for your friend is that she can try to emulate Rudy as much as possible by living in the present moment and not allowing her sadness at his impending loss to cloud the happy moments they can still enjoy. I would spoil him outrageously for his remaining time!

 

As for her partner, her experience of cancer is necessarily unlike Rudy's, as she decides for herself how much she is willing to bear for the sake of living longer. Your friend has to decide this for Rudy, and for animal owners it is always hard to play God, as we all sooner or later must do. If she is crying all the time it is, as you say, because she can allow herself to mourn the dog even while he is still alive, whereas if she cried all the time over her partner she would force her cancer-stricken partner to take care of her rather than the other way around. If the three of them have been a family for years, there is the added sadness of knowing that, when Rudy dies, they will have lost a creature that knew and loved them both; when a particularly beloved animal of mine dies, I feel it is like a chunk of coastline breaking off and being swept into the sea, carrying a piece of my life with it.

 

If the vet is not supportive, I wonder whether she should consider moving elsewhere to someone more compassionate for the euthanasia.